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NEW! X-country. yee por's birthday dinner.

LINKS.
nationalopti mgsizzlers 3i'06/4i'07 considerthischarity(:
aaron aggy alex alyssa akau ambrose amelyn andy becs benkheng bev bevshaddick bryan cecilia choey dahlia daniella darryl david debbie denise desiree elah elaine elfie ernie esther evan eve faith faris felix genia hannah iggy jerry joel jolene jon jonathan jov joy kerry keshia khoonnie kimo kim leon lexy liany lionel lionelmyles lizhen MAH maki manda MANDY(: mandy michhy mike ming mummy! nabilah nad nah nat nessa psoh qing rachael rachel richard samONG samWISE sandra sarah scott serene sharlynn sher sonya stace steph stine tim val xavier yihong yongsie yongsie zhiwai




Tuesday, January 02, 2007 5:56 pm
school means so much to me now, it's alarming. sure. i'm still lazy and all. but FREAK. honestly, if i dont do well for Os, it's the end of me. if i can't get into ib, i dont know what i'm gonna do. PROBABLY BREAK DOWN AND CRY. start hyperventillating, THE USUAL, IT AINT NO BIG NO MORE.

this is one heck of an emo post,
i feel the need to be emo.

my world's collapsing, i can feel it.
i could probably start hyperventillating pretty soon, if i'm not careful. BUT WHAT THE HECK, it's happened often enough for me to take it lightly. stress, possibly depression, but i doubt it. i dont feel the urge to stare out of my bedroom window and wonder what'll happen if i ACCIDENTALLY happen to fall out. NAW, I'M GOOD. just that everything's happening at the same time. and i dont like it one bit.

I REALLY NEEDA PAY MORE ATTENTION IN CLASS, that's my last hope. tuition is so bleagh. not that i'll pay any attention anyway. i'd probably just waste the time away asking stupid questions, it aint quite worth my time. I'LL PROBABLY HAVE MULTIPLE DATES WITH ALL MY TEACHERS, miss kek, mainly. amath is totally pissing me off, really. I SHOULDN'T HAVE SKIPPED BINOMIAL CLASS, DAMN IT! and well, honestly, to cope with my "JOY", anamia aint sounding too bad right about now. it might just make me feel better about myself and all this.

NO, i dont have self esteem issues. i just feel helpless and stupid. like i have no idea what's going on, or how to deal with any of this crap. my thoughts are becoming all schizophrenic again. gotten used to it after a while. FEELING SAD AND GLOOMY, WITH OCCASIONAL STREAKS OF REASON. rather amusing, when i look back.

sometimes, no amount of anything can make me feel better. i just want someone who'll listen.

YES, freaking emo post. but whatever. i'd tile the page with effs if i were in the mood to be all vulgar and crap. but right now, i could do without. WHATEVER. WHO CARES ANYWAY.


the one word to describe me and my life and everything?
dysfunctional.

edit.
cried myeslf to sleep.
i feel somewhat better.

i feel good(: